A Piratical Tale

Mistaking my friends and me for fare paying customers, the man said, ’Welcome aboard the Highland Princess. We are delighted to have you aboard.’
‘We’re not customers, we’re Pirates,’ I said as best I could while clenching a cutlass between my teeth.  (It was bloody sore.)
‘Well if you are hungry pirates, we have a buffet available in the dining saloon.’ After spending three hours in a pub that had no food, we were famished, so through to the dining saloon we trooped.
‘We were supposed to size the vessel,’ said One-eyed Jim. (Who has two perfectly good eyes.)
‘These balti chicken wings are quite exquisite,’ I replied
‘We’ve been incorprated and rendered toothless,’ said Calico Jack. (Real name Bernard Sprott.) The rest of us were still tucking in.