The use of a goose

Feeling bad for running around on Kakaw, I headed into town at lunchtime for the “usual”. She didn’t seem to suspect anything, so as long as I don’t talk about it on a public platform, I’m pretty sure that I’ve got away with seeing other hot chocolates….

On my way in I noticed an erection taking place (pictured). It usually happens around this time of year and is there to herald the arrival of the annual Kendal Mountain Festival. Scientists have been monitoring the event for a number of years now and have noted that the earth’s temperature increases by 3 degrees due to the warmth generated by such a high concentration of insulated puffa jackets in such a small area. 

Chris Packham has noted that there also tends to be a lot of cold, bald geese wandering about around this time. They don’t go to waste though, some people slather themselves in the fat of the goose and to save money on air travel in their desperate bid to leave this country, try and swim the Atlantic, only to change their mind halfway over on realising that Trump is making a comeback. Unfortunately, by that point it is usually too late for the poor soul.

What remains of the goose is eaten at Christmas by those who realise that turkey is awful, but at least has never been used to insulate a jacket. Bernard Matthews tried it, and it just didn’t work - indeed, so frustrated was he with his failure that the Turkey Twizzler was created in a fit of pique just to piss Jamie Oliver off.

Anyway, it’s been a fairly quiet day and my mind may have drifted a bit. It was nice to have a bit of time with the parents before the weekend begins.

Have a good one all.