Seriously !!!

Last Wed I bought a (new to me) shiny shiny car. It was nice to drive but had a few wee things I didn't like such as Traction controll which basically means the car figths with you going round corners so that got deactivated. Automatic full beam which is not as good at spotting oncoming cars as myself so that got the deshunt. I now understand why so many oncoming cars almost blind me! Then when I was reversing and as is customery for me, I open the car door while reversing to see where i'm going  (I also use my mirrors) anyway if you open the car door while the car is moving some sort of alarm like a bloddy bomb is about to go off starts, I almost fell out the bloody car!
Its dark grey in colour and every bird in the hood has already sh*t on it
While coming back from Oban last night a bloody great big female red deer jumped out of a bush and tried giving me a shoulder check off the road. She almost succeeded  but as the car seemed fine I kept on driving. Closer inspection this morning revealed as small dent in the front passenger wing, and one of its side lights came out of its socket but the most expensive break was the headlight was broken from its mounting. Bloody deer they should all be erradicated. I have deer horns on all my cars but not this one. Im thinking its got some bad ju ju so i may have to invest in some sage, a headless chicken and do some exorcisim on it.  It is booked in to get fixed in two weeks so here's hoping I can turn it's luck around then!