Pitch dark

outside. I haven't slept all night AT ALL! This week I've had evening-> morning->evening-> morning shifts. I could not sleep much from Monday to Tuesday and now this next evening-> morning- I am not sleeping at all.

I just called our occupational health care 24/7 phone and got a doctor's appointment for Friday and the nurse will call me on Monday. She would have given me a sick leave for today, but I can't do that to my co worker. We have one on sick leave already (away for 2 weeks and we can't get substitutes said our boss) and one on leave to start a new career path. We are all so tired and on our last straw. I'll just try to survive today somehow and then I'll talk with the "hired help".



Today when I went to work the person who was on morning shift alone, was having such bad mood that she once again did not talk to me. She really takes it out on me as I'm the one without proper training. She's also snapping at me for not job related things too. It's really getting to me. Today I tried to talk to our team superior (not the big boss). The team superior is quite nice and effective, but of course there's only so much she can do. Anyway I told her that we need to do something about the atmosphere on our ward and she said that the only thing is that one person. The very one that I was just telling about. I said that everyone is exhausted. She insisted that it's only because of that one person.

That's not true. There's so much more. Like the person who's now away for 2 weeks, it's only because she gets migraines from smells. Our ward is odorless. She reminded the big boss that the floor that we move into, also needs to be. First it was too early to talk about it, and then it was too late. Now she can't be there, but we can't get substitutes as there are also still one person from the original 5th floor and 2 residents. These persons work with different types of residents. They are autistic, but can walk and talk. They don't wear dippers and can cloth themselves. Some of the staff have back problems so they work with that type of people. So they really can't help us much even if they want to. But hey, they are there on the same floor, so we have to just get by.



My co-worker S is so exhausted that she mostly sits down and I do all the running. She does her share for sure of the residents, but taking out garbage or doing laundry or taking care of the kitchen or just hanging out with the residents, no. It seems she's just shutting everything out and getting by with that method. It seems like she doesn't even care. I hope that's not true, but she seems to be Teflon.



And then there are all the wonderful people who do gigs for our ward and do their best, but don't really know all that needs to be dealt with and do the bare minimum, and after them there's just so much extra work for us.

There's construction in the building for the next perhaps 8 months still. All the noise. All the dust. All the "missing two floors at the moment" hassle with  construction "huts" outside where some of the stuff are now.

Big boss who's never there herself and just denies help from us.


As you can see it feels like it's never ending cycle. They just use us and throw us away.


You can't see from the picture, but as I put the UV light on for the plants (and me) the window outside is now swarming with hornets. There's still so many outside and they are trying to get in. We can't really keep the windows open anymore if there's not 100% tight net. One net has this very little crack on the bottom and all summer long that was never found. Yesterday morning we had 2 hornets in our bathroom (where that window is).

So very very early blip today. I assume I'll be comatosed after work.