Horizontal stripes

Tomorrow I will be wearing a stripes dress to mom n dads 50th wedding anniversary. I'm starting to now think this will be a mistake. I always remember mom telling me fat people shouldn't wear horizontal stripes). The more I'm panicking about it the more stripes my dress is becoming and my lard is increasing by the kilo per hour (in my head) much trying and retrying of the dress is occurring today but each time I try it looks surprisingly acceptable to what I keep imagining.

I've discovered if I do a selfie head shot and strain really hard I kinda of look like fern Britten after the gastric band (I find squinting helps).

Another top up tan spray compliments of Josephine again today.

Early to bed. Excited for tomorrow.