This Is A Modern World....Isn't It Shit (Part 3).

"Daddy, can I paddle out to see that seal?"

"I think that's a dead cat, East Stirlingshire".

"oh......."

"East Stirlingshire, don't touch those pink rubb......"

"Daddy! Daddy! I've found rubber johnnies!!"

"Home time, East Stirlingshire, we have to go home now."

"I don't like our home, Daddy.....just look at the confused pastiche that is so often the result of the modern, ego-driven and, ultimately, talentless architect".

"I don't like it either, son, that's why we're out here in this cold and stinking water".

".......and, Daddy, why did you and Mummy call me East Stirlingshire?"

"Because most weekends they are pointless, son..............everything is pointless."