The Idyll

What could be more idyllic? A calf nuzzles up to its mother in a lush green field as the sun comes up, and the early morning warmth sends a misty dew into the crisp, clean air

Except that... these animals are life-sized plastic models! Our neighbour along the ridge, whom we call Monsieur Fleurie, has (we surmise) a clear case of OCD. His house, garden, kitchen garden and every surrounding field (including hedges) are manicured to within a centimetre of their existence. Flowers bloom in regimented rows. Crops grow in anal lines. Hedgerows are shaped in faultless humps. Even the birds he keeps in immaculate cages chirp in pitch perfect harmony. There is not a stone or a chipping out of place.

And yet... he has somehow seen fit to place plastic cows in his field. Perhaps the smell of the real thing would offend his sensibilities. Who knows? But there they are. Beyond belief. Beyond the idyllic, and more than verging on the absurd. Such is life in la France profonde. Certainly never dull.