The anxiety leading up to this was pretty hideous.
A combination of raging imposter syndrome, deep frustration about the politics behind it all, frustration at the lack of clarity re: expectations and lack of actual tangible input - further reinforcing the feeling that it’s all a political confection that we end up being collusive with by having to participate participating.

However, in the end it was a good to get out of the silo and have the opportunity to compare notes with others from different areas, recognise we are banded lower than most others and the pressure for that to change can only build now. I realised how difficult it was for us as the cohort that had to be entirely online during Covid and how much that will have reinforced the disconnection from it all. I also met a chap who had been on the despised Leeds course and was mightily relieved that he had exactly the same viscerally repulsed reaction to it that I had, and with the same supervisor to boot. Phew!