Over Yonder

By Stoffel

FartyCat

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I'm feeling a lot better but

BUMWEES

Whatever I had seems to have travelled south. Consequently I stayed home from the office again today. 

Over lunchtime I decided to go into the spare bedroom and take a nap with The Barn Cats. 

DG, because she is sweet and loves me, decided to fall asleep right next to me and I fell asleep with her in my arms and

OH DEAR GOD

WHAT IS THAT SMELL???

Because of BUMWEES my first thought was, "Oh no, is that me?" 

But no. I was bumwee-free. Fortunately.

It was DG!

Caro has told me that when she is happy, she farts. Silently. Fffffffft. Like that. 

Well she must've been really BLOODY happy. Is all I can think. 

It was DREADFUL. Like rotting compost that contains a dead rat. 

I pushed my nose into the pillow and hoped it would go away. But when I came back up for air

IT'S STILL THERE OH THE HUMANITY

So it wasn't quite the nap I was looking for. All the same, one hour later I woke up with DG gone, Crashy at my feet and happiness in my heart.

S.

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