MonoMay 5

Post-gig Debrief

Over breakfast John was thinking about last night's gig, and the disaster that had been. He had talked to the landlord of The Blue Anchor afterwards to apologise for the chaos that was supposed to be a gig. Luckily he had heard good things about the Weirwulves and was prepared to give them a second chance, but had made it clear that they would only get one more chance. At least he had the day to work out how he was going to handle the guys tonight. He was thanking the gods that he had a chance to sort it before the next gig. These guys were mad, he knew that, and he didn't mean mad as slightly unhinged, he meant mad as in certifiable. He had basically brought them together to keep them out of mischief. All three were damned good musicians, and he knew that they could have a great time as a band. None of them had any pretensions that they would make it big, they just wanted to have fun and enjoy what they loved doing. He looked across the table
‘Christ Julie, what am I going to do with them?’
‘Just tell them, tell them that if it weren't for you they would be in the loony bin.’
John knew she was right, he knew that he had to take back some sort of control of the whole gigging process - that there could be no repeat of last night.

As he walked down to the harbour John knew that he had the whole day to reflect, and that pulling his lobster pots was going to be a welcome distraction. Hopefully his subconscious would do the job for him, and provide the solution to his dilemma. As a kid he had taken vows that he would never follow his father into fishing. However, his father died and left him the boat, and he had spent too many years working for other people and getting nowhere, so he thought why not try it for a year or so. Now, after almost a year, he knew what his father was talking about when he said he was being himself. John had discovered the tranquillity of being out on the water, on his own, answerable to no one but himself. He knew that if he didn’t bring up any lobsters that it was his own fault for putting the pots in the wrong place. Not that such a thing ever happened, he knew where to find the best lobsters, his grandfather had told him that as a kid, and he had never forgotten the landmarks he should be looking out for. The one thing he could never understand was why his father had never followed his own father in chasing crabs and lobsters, but had gone for longlining instead, which was bloody hard work. Not that hauling pots wasn’t, it bloody was.

Julie had John’s evening meal ready when he got back, they sat and ate in silence for a few minutes
‘So, rehearsal tonight then, how’s that going to go?’
‘Down like a lead balloon, they are not going to like what I have to say, not one little bit.’
‘Has to be done love.’
‘I know, and I really am going to have to deal with Kim, he’s the bloody ringleader.’
‘I know I was talking to Lizzie about it today, She’s at her wits end with him.’
‘Don’t get involved me ansome, leave it to me.’
‘She brought it up, she wants to talk to you about it when you have five minutes.’
‘Ok, I’ll see her tomorrow anyway, that’ll be a good chance. I’m really surprised that she hasn’t left him before now.’
‘It’s cos she loves him, I dunno why, but she does.’
‘Weird, I can’t imagine anyone loving that little bugger. Right, I suppose it’s time to face them down, put some beer in the fridge will‘ee, I’ll need it later.’
John grabbed his coat and left.

Walking down Church Street John was expecting to have a trying evening, he had no idea how they would react. He reached his loft where they rehearsed among all of the fishing gear he stored there, and heard an almighty row going on. It sounded like they were really at each other’s throats, this had to stop, or the band was finished and they could take their chances. He opened the door and walked in
‘Right, shut the fuck up you lot, I’ve about had it with you.’
All went quiet.
‘Right, so what the fuck happened last night, anyone have any suggestions?’
All remained quiet.
‘Anyone going to tell me what the third number was all about then, should have been our version of Trelawney, but Kim was drumming My Generation, Freddie was into Dazed and Confused, and Pete was doing some sort of weird jazz improvisation of Kind of Blue.’
There was some mumbling about not being asked about what they were going to play, and not being able to agree among themselves. It was all a bit incoherent to John.
‘Ok, last night proved one thing, you three are not to be trusted to make any decisions, all three of you are fucking insane, yes, you heard me insane. If you were out there on your own all three of you would be locked away for your own safety.’
To say they looked shocked would be an understatement, he had never spoken to them like this before, they suddenly came to the realisation that they had pissed him off big time.

John instinctively knew that this was make or break time, they would either comply or go their own way. Kim was about to speak.
‘Shut up Kim, and listen. We are not The Who, and you are not Keith Moon, get that in your head. Freddie, we are not Led Zeppelin, and you are definitely not Jimmy Paige, you’re good, but not that good. Pete, as for you Miles Davis you ain’t, you probably wouldn’t even know which end of the horn to blow, stick with what you know.’
Inevitably it was Kim who tried to make a song and dance of the whole thing.
‘You’re being unfair to us, we do our best, and you’re slagging us off.’
‘Being unfair am I? Slagging you off am I? I know only too well what’s behind this Kim. It’s because I won’t let you do your Tina Turner impression, and a snowball will have a better chance in hell than me ever letting you.’
‘But it’s a good impression.’
‘Oh, I’ll grant you that one, but it has to go, along with the wig and the leather skirt, they have no place here.’
‘But why?’
‘Kim, everyone knows you’re a bloke, the wig and the skirt behind the drums fools no one, especially when you forget your Y fronts, then everyone can see that you’re a bloke, and a bloke who gets turned on performing. It has to stop.’
There was a deal of mumbling and muttering, John told them he was going outside for a breath of fresh air, and that when he came back he expected to rehearse the line-up he had planned for the next gig. Not that he held out much hope.

He had only been outside for a couple of minutes when he saw Lizzie heading across the harbour, and decided to head her off.
‘Hi John, I assume Kim is in there.’
‘Yes, but leave it for now Lizzie, I have just put the fear of the gods into them. Julie told me you were at your wits end with him, I might be able to make that easier if you give me a bit of rope.’
‘Ok, you have until the end of the week. That is if I last that long.’
‘How do you mean if you last that long.’
‘Well, I’ve just burnt that bloody wig and skirt.’
John pulled her to him and gave her such a passionate kiss, she pulled herself away.
‘What the fuck?’
‘You’re a star Lizzie, just tell him that it was my suggestion, after what I have just said to them he will believe that. They are going to change, because I have an idea.’
‘Oh, what’s that then?’
‘They don’t know it yet but there’s going to be a fifth member of the band, I’ve been talking to him for a while now.’
‘Anyone I know?’
‘Yes, you used to date him, Davy Tremayne.’
‘Christ John, they’re not going to like you bringing a shrink into the band.’
‘They have no choice, and I think that right now is the time to break the news.’
‘Good luck with that, I’m off before that roof blows off.’
Lizzie headed off and John went back in.

They were still mumbling and muttering when he came back in, and he suspected that most of it was directed at him.
‘Right, listen up guys, we are going to get the next gig perfect, but first I have a bit of news for you all. As of next week we have a sax player, Davy Tremayne is joining us.’
Kim was the first to express his disapproval.
‘You’re bringing a fucking shrink into the band! That’s it we’re out of here, we ain’t playing with no fucking shrink.’
‘Your choice guys, but just stop and think for a minute, who will you play with? There’s no one around here who doesn’t know your track record, and who wouldn’t touch you with that oar resting against the wall, no matter how good you all are. I can’t stop you, but would rather you stayed. Now are we going to rehearse or what?’
The three put their heads together, and there was much muttering, along with some furtive glances, eventually they broke up and Freddie spoke
‘We need to have a think about this John, can we put the rehearsal off until tomorrow night?’
‘That’s fine by me, more time for the beer that’s in the fridge waiting. See you tomorrow lads, I’m sure you will make the right decision.’
With that he walked out, not giving them the chance to say anything.

The next day passed quite slowly, John contacted Davy and asked if he fancied joining them that evening. Davy was more than eager, and John suggested he come to the loft around six thirty so that they could discuss a strategy before the others arrived. Over lunch he told Julie of his plan, she laughed and said she wished him good luck with that one. As he walked down Church Street Davy caught him up.
‘Hi, Davy, any ideas how we are going to handle this.’
‘Well, my plan is just to turn up and play with the band, they’ll be eating out of my hand within the month, and I won’t have done anything to earn it.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘They know good stuff when they hear it, just wait and see.’
When they got to the loft Davy asked John how he felt about blues, to which John responded with enthusiasm. When the others turned up they found Davy riffing on some blues numbers and John singing along. Nothing was said, they just went to their respective instruments and started jamming with them. After two or three more numbers Kim spoke out
‘You know we should bring some of that stuff into our gigs, it would go down well.’
‘Well, bugger me Davy, these are the guys who said last night that ‘we ain’t playing with no fucking shrink’, they seem to have changed their minds.’
‘Well, we ain’t never heard him play before have we.’, this from Freddie, ‘Kim’s right blues would go down well in a lot of places. Welcome aboard Davy.’
John knew he had won this particular battle, but was unsure how long it would last.

Author's Note:
This is pretty factually based on a discussion had after a pretty disastrous gig.