Push the button

"We're all going on a, crazy mi-is-sion".

I made a fairly last-minute decision to nip down to London to attend a two-day conference on Wednesday and Thursday, which meant either catching the overnight bus tonight from Newcastle, or a cheapo flight at the crack of dawn.

Oddly enough, after I'd decided to go for it, I came across this old London double-decker bus parked in a truck cemetery not far from my earlier escapades, so it seemed the most appropriate blip (it was the Number 9 too!).

My recent financial traumas meant there was actually not enough cash in my account to book anything in advance, so after some mad last-minute blagging I had just enough for the bus ticket, and was praying that all those long-promised cheques would clear and appear in my account the next day. Only other problem was that I had a meeting in Jedburgh in the evening, so it would mean a Back-to-the-Future stunt to get over Carter Bar in time for the midnight train (I mean bus) to Geordieland.

Surprise surprise, I let the meeting run over, but I had determined to push the button, so I set off with absolutely no chance of succeeding and armed only with the attitude that "God loves a tryer". Predictably, as my other car is not a Delorean (it is in fact a Renault 4, currently mouldering in a friend's barn), despite almost reaching the critical 88-miles-an-hour (let's pretend I'm still sticking with metaphor here...) and suffering massive G-forces, my little Daewoo Matiz did not propel me into the Newcastle National Express depot in time. There were no streaks of flame on the road either, although the bonnet was quite hot.

Time for plan B, which was to head out to the airport and hunker down until the check-in desks opened, and pray that a) the tickets did not now cost more than a kidney and b) that they still had a spare seat.

Roald Amundsen said "Adventure is just bad planning" and as my life consists of pretty much one ill-considered fiasco after another, I would have to agree. But it does beat staying in and watching "Deal or no Deal". Hands down.

Find out if I prevail in tomorrow's exciting instalment!