A day and a half

Finally,  after almost 5 years, I got Scottish gas to sort my island account.  
According to them, I had a pre paid meter so they were only sending statements telling me how much I have paid. I on the other hand knew I was paying nothing and the longer this debacle went on, the more money I would owe them!
No has ever been able to sort my dilemma  so today I gave it another go but this time online.
After telling me I was 65th in line, I finally got the lovely Sebastian,  (I  liked his name so I was ever so polite)
After asking the make and model of my meter then asking the reading, the delectable Sebastian said his department was for pre paid meter and that I needed to speak with the billing meter person.  After being transferred and going back to 75th in the queue and being told I would get the solution in the Q&As. I said no and waited and said another decade of the rosary to kill time. Finally I got the wonderfully named  Kubla who said he could help. Kuala then tweaked some knobs and said I owed £2300 for the past almost 5 years!!!
Once I picked myself off the floor and swallowed a stiff drink the wonderful  Kubla then asked for yet another meter reading  which involved climbing up a ladder and standing on a shelf and me promising God If I didn't fall through,  I would go on a strict diet. Having given the delectable  Kuble my meter reading,  he then revised the figure from  almost 3k to the less eye watering  £ 912, I decided to pay that lest cuddly Kubla divides this by some more years so I was passed to yet another department to pay my dues. Thanking Kubla, I then parted with my hard earned spondoolaks and they told me to request a Smart meter which would keep tabs on my meter in real time.
I thanked them all and wrote a glowing report and sat back and breathed a sigh of relief!
Now I can stop worrying about my electric bill  and rest easy. 
The wine beckons.