Human's Lib

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Today was all about Caro. 

It was her second interview at the funeral home. She dressed up and looked beautiful but SOMBRE. There was a lot of black. 

She looked the part. 

I went with her to Waikenae for moral support. Oh, all right, I went because I liked the idea of lunch out. So while she was at the interview I walked to "Salt & Wood Collective" a nice bar just a five minute walk away. 

I had a lovely hour in there, I ate a bean burrito and daydreamed what it might be like to be married to a funeral director's assistant. 

Meanwhile, Caro was living the life. 

She had another great interview it sounds like. She "aced" the admin test and then I got a text. 

GOING TO THE CREMATORIUM TO DO A BODY

I mean. On any other day that might be weird. 

It turns out that the term "body" is not the thing in the funeral industry though. The funeral directors refer to their clients as "humans". They took Caro through the secret door at the back of the chapel and explained the process to her. 

What surprised me - although I guess it's obvious - is that when the casket goes through the door in the chapel it doesn't immediately go into the fire*.

Actually it's more like a Formula 1 pit stop. The funeral staff immediately remove all the metal or plastic from the casket - including the handles and things like medals that the family might have put in there. 

Then they put the casket in what Caro describes as a really advanced super-hot oven with lots of dials including settings for the different body sizes. Larger people burn super-hot apparently as they "provide their own fuel". 

Caro is full of the lingo now. 

Caro watched the funeral directors remove the remains of a recently cremated person from the oven. She said it was more like burnt paper than the remnants of a log fire. 

The ashes are then carefully stored, ready for the family. 

I remember in her first interview, both of the interviewers said the crem was the most confronting part of the job. Caro was pretty sanguine about it. She said it was like a workshop or a garage. She is a very practical woman, respectful of the humans, but not afraid of them.

Caro then watched the next human being prepared. She was matter-of-fact and pragmatic about it, and I think she impressed her potential employers. She gave me a lot of detail and made it sound really interesting. 

I'll spare you the detail just now, but mainly because I don't want to jinx things for her - not because I think you can't take it. 

I guess what I liked about her stories from today wasn't the practical detail, but her enthusiasm for the two women interviewing her. She really seemed to like them. I love the idea of her liking her work and enjoying the people. She's been so isolated for so long. I would love for her to love her job, after all these years.

There's a lot of cleaning, a lot of admin and a lot of socialising that comes with the job too. But she enjoys all of these things and is not afraid of hard work. I love the idea that, even if she's working hard, she'll find it rewarding and interesting. 

I really hope she gets this job. For one thing, that bean burrito was GOOD.

S.

p.s. Today's title is a reference to Howard Jones. I'm guessing only me and Howard himself would have got that.

* I saw that in a James Bond movie once! Of COURSE that's how it works! Are you saying James Bond LIED to us?!?