Rough and tough and strong and mean

Woe, is me.

We were having visitors at work. We were all to be present, in our smartest best. I don't do smart, and I don't do uniforms... a bosum of my size does not bode well in a fitted shirt or tee. But I did promise my Boss that I would wash my face, comb my hair and wear pants, and stay mostly out of sight.

Most of the above I managed.

I even managed to be in before the guests.

I even put on my nicest smile and offered beverages (despite being loathe to do that any other time - just because I have bosums doesn't mean I make good coffee)... I served the lovely guests their coffee, and waters, smiled like a delicate little flower and backed out of the glass office.

Then i went to the kitchen to get coffee for me, and everyone else downstairs.

I decided in the spirit of good manners and politeness, I would for once use a tray, and not run screaming, three cups in one hand, and two in the other, swearing like a trooper for the stairs.

I even dampened a cloth, and placed it on the tray so as not to let the cups wobble.

But that was all wasted. As soon as I stepped out of the kitchen door, looking directly at the glass walls of the board room, my whole-body-tourettes kicked in and I threw all the cups in the air.

In great form, I caught all the cups again - but missed most of the coffee and what wasn't running down my trouser leg, or soaking into the floor, was swimming in a puddle an inch deep on the tray.

I looked in to the meeting room in abject horror, and fortunately the guests looked merely pityingly at me... I glanced along at the MD - who was throwing himself back in his chair guffawing at my distress.

Thankfully the lovely D was behind me and pulled me back into the kitchen with out further mishap, removed the tray from me and sent me downstairs to my desk where I could cause the least damage.

I stayed at my desk for the rest of the day, too scared to venture far from it, lest I demolish something or set fire to it.

Once the majority of staff had left for the evening, I took a little peek upstairs, to see just how bad my mess was...

Me thinks the new carpet tiles will be docked next month.