razzamatazz and a rooty toot toot

I used to work in a ‘show bar’

We were advertised as ‘all singing, all dancing, juggling servers’

In Glasgow we had many actors filling in the gaps between adverts and pantos, so showing off was always in full abundance. Especially if the staff has been partaking of the stock

On the other coast when we opened our new branch. Not so much. The job was a means to
An end. It wasn’t a stage. It was a place to
Spend 7 hours and take home a wage


Customers would come in and say ‘ I thought you lot did juggling, singing?

And I’d pick up three shot glasses. Juggle for two
Minutes. Dance to whatever was playing on the juke box and throw in an operatic aria at the end

And everyone would look at me like I was mad and I’d scream - you are all supposed to do this. Regularly.

The only time I could get them to move was Birthdays. They were all quite happy to pick up tambourines and Bells and join in with a razzamatazz ….

And that was the one time I would sing completely off key and really badly And I still do that today. Everyone in the office dreads their birthday and I give them a really awful rendition

Today it was Moirias turn. But she wasn’t in the office. So she has a.voicemail one so that she can listen to it over and over

I sent her cake home with the boss