Over Yonder

By Stoffel

Jefe's Half-Century

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Today was Jefe's 50th birthday party!

The plan was that Caro, Craig and I would meet up with Shenée and Craig at their place while Manda took him to lunch. The five of us would decorate their flat with helium balloons and streamers and then LEAP out at him when he returned. 

Any other party guests were to FOLLOW OUR INSTRUCTIONS, said Manda. We were expecting a bunch of Jefe's poker buddies, plus Briar, Ellie, Fazzy, Mo and Jefe's ex-landlady Jade. 

The plan went awry almost immediately. Because HELIUM. 

The two Craigs, Shenée and Caro couldn't help themselves. Soon all four of them were squeaking like chipmunks. 

"Oh sh*t, there's no helium left for the balloons," said Craig 1. 

Eye roll hashtag useless friends.

While we were attaching decorations to the ceiling and walls, Ellie and Briar arrived, plus some other people. Then I started getting texts from Fazzy. 

I'M HERE

She said.

But no, she wasn't. She insisted she was at the address but as I looked up and down the road I couldn't see anything. 

EXCEPT JEFE!

He waved at me. So much for the surprise. I ran back into the house with my phone and hid anyway. 

Fazzy was still talking away.

"SSSHHHHH!!!" people told my phone. 

So Fazzy was sort of there for the not-really surprise. When she got there (talked to the location by Ellie) she arrived with a whole bunch of milk tarts she had made* and she was as adorable and lovely as ever so we forgave her. And Jefe said he KNEW something was up anyway, even before that. 

But Fazzy was now looking at the cake. She is OBSESSED by cake. 

I had to drag Jefe away from his friends so he could open presents and cut cake. And then Fazzy was very happy indeed. 

So I had a very pleasant day/early evening. I spent a lot of it with Ellie, who I had not seen since last August. She is as bright and happy and fun as ever and she told me about a new job that she's going after. 

The party slowly drifted away... Briar, Ellie, Fazzy and then Shenée and Craig. It was left to us usual last hold-outs. And Jefe insisted we play a 1985 American version of "Trivial Pursuit". 

And you KNOW how long that game takes to play. We tried to speed it up by giving hints and flicking through the cards for easy questions. 

"I CALL BULLSH*T!!!" squealed Jefe, who takes games very seriously. 

Even so we were at it for two hours. In the end we were on 4 pieces of pie each so we decided next pie-winner gets it. 

And I got it.

"NO! THIS IS NOT THE END! YOU HAVE TO END THE GAME PROPERLY!" said Jefe, outraged. "JUST BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE GET TIRED AND FLAKE OUT THAT'S A FORFEIT! YOU FORFEIT THE GAME!!" 

"I was quite drunk," he texted apologetically this morning.

I think he had the best time though and felt fully celebrated. Although I also suspect he felt EVERY DAY of his half-century this morning.

S.

* It's a South African thing. They are really nice.

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