Out of wedlock

A male colleague has had his first kid over the weekend, after getting married last year. Shotgun wedding, lest a child horrify the elders and be born out of wedlock.

The comments in the office were revealing as to Tanzanians’ conventional views of married and family life.

‘At least he can sleep now’, said someone, implying his role in the conception is over. Sleep is not a word I would associate with a home in which a newborn child was living. It’s not a strong indication of shared parental duties.

‘His wife’s love splits in half’, ‘the love moves more or less to the child’, and ‘this is where it gets ugly’, were additional quotes recorded during the day.

Overall, I am thankful not to be involved in marriage or child-rearing in Tanzania.