Brisbane

So once again we were on the bus, but this time back to Brisbane.  There we would be staying with Caro's friend Grant.  They have known each other since Intermediate School at the age of 11 although they didn't become friends until much later when I believe they discovered something called "getting ratarsed".  Caro (if you let her) will tell endless stories of she and Grant and Michelle (see the New Zealand emails) going to the infamous "Roadhouse" bar and getting rather messy.  Probably her favourite story to tell is the Tina Turner Concert Debacle Story, which I shall now recount:

THE TINA TURNER CONCERT DEBACLE STORY

I should emphasise that this is the story AS TOLD BY CARO.  Therefore it may be a little biased in the re-telling.  Grant, Michelle - if you want to correct any of the details, I'd LOVE to hear from you...
 
Caro and Michelle went through a phase of seeing every artist to visit New Zealand (after all, it was a fairly big event).  They'd seen Paul McCartney, they'd seen Jimmy Barnes (“Who?” you may ask - relax, it's a Kiwi thing) and so when Tina arrived they rushed off to get their combined bus and concert tickets.  Grant vacillated on the subject for a week or two before eventually turning up with just a concert ticket.  He explained that he had a car (but no licence) but that Michelle could drive them to Auckland and wouldn't that be a lot more fun?
 
So that was the plan.  Grant and Michelle drove from Mount Maunganui to Hamilton Uni where Caro was due to take an exam the next day.  She told them that she SERIOUSLY had to study but that there was a pub around the corner where Grant and Mechelle could entertain themselves while she hit the books but oh well, maybe she’d just have a drink with them first, no harm eh?  
 
Three a.m. the next morning, the three of them were still in the flat, completely pissed.  Oops.
 
Seriously hungover, Caro woke up late, but was told not to panic by Michelle - after all - they had the car and Michelle could drive her to the exam.  All was going well until Michelle reversed Grant's car out of the driveway and hit a post, denting the hatchback lock.  Having no time to do anything about it, Caro - now green with sickness - was driven up and down hills to the university building where she sat through her 3 hour exam with a blinding hangover.  When she finally got out she found that Michelle had spent all her time looking for a repair shop in vain and there was nothing for it but to tell Grant about his car.
 
Grant took it ok - but disaster struck again when Michelle loaded up the hatchback and slammed it shut, forgetting the keys were still inside.  One locksmith and $90 later, Caro realised that she now couldn't afford to eat or drink for the rest of the weekend.  But that didn't matter because they were GOING TO SEE TINA.  The three of them drove to Auckland all excited, Grant especially as it was his first big concert.
 
They parked the car and followed the huge stream of people into the venue where they got an EXCELLENT view of Tina who was "awesome".  Grant clung to Caro and Michelle the whole time, as he was a bit freaked out by the huge crowd in the haze of all the dope-smokers, as Tina danced about in her stilletoes right on the edge of a huge cherry-picker that dangled her right above their heads.  Grant freaked out; "It's TINA!!  And we're all one!!"  

After the concert, and the accompanying mile long queue for a toilet, the stadium emptied and the three of them were amongst the last to leave.  Their excitement increased when they were nearly run over by Tina's personal limo.  Their excitement decreased when they realised they had forgotten where they parked.  One hour later they finally found it.  By now it was midnight.  Exhausted, emotionally worn out by the experience and still semi-hungover they drove out of Auckland when Michelle dropped a bit of a bombshell.
 
"Now I don't want to freak anyone out," she said calmly, "but the brakes have gone."
 
For several panic-stricken minutes they coasted through motorway traffic, with Michelle desperately trying to control the car via the clutch.  Eventually she managed to get the car into a service station and called her aunt and uncle who lived in Auckland.  They told her that she and her friends could all come and stay and were totally cool about the whole thing (they were used to their own son, Ken who regularly got up to various sorts of wild malarky).
 
So the three of them drove ACROSS Auckland, WITHOUT brakes and fortunately without incident, eventually making it to Aunt Nancy's in the early hours of the morning where they were welcomed with tea and cakes which they gratefully accepted before going to bed.
 
The next morning, tempers still short, Ken and Grant were looking at the car but could see nothing wrong.  Grant wondered aloud whether it could be anything to do with Michelle backing into that post.
 
Michelle lost it.  A major fight ensued.  Michelle accused Grant of trying to get her to pay for the cost of his bloody deathtrap of a car, he accused her of wrecking his wheels before he’d even learned to drive them and so it went on.
 
However, the car was now seemingly okay - the problem just disappeared, and the 3 drove back to Hamilton to drop Caro off.  By now they were barely speaking.  Caro was riding in the back and getting carsick, meanwhile Grant was fiddling with the stereo and getting in Michelle's way which resulted in sullen silence from everybody.
 
Then the car got a flat.
 
It was the Bombay Hills, just outside Auckland and home of the Market Gardeners.  Michelle pulled off near a ditch, so the car stuck awkwardly out onto the motorway.  Since neither Grant nor Michelle knew how to change a tyre, it was Caro who was stuck out in the traffic, getting oil all over her new t-shirt while Michelle raged, pacing up and down, and Grant chainsmoked and waved at the passing market gardeners.
 
Finally the car was fixed again.  But the atmosphere was not.  As soon as they got back into the car, Grant put on The Carpenters Greatest Hits.  “At full FUCKING blast."
 
That was it - World War Three was declared.  When they stopped for brekkie at MacDonald's they had to sit at separate tables.  And when Caro was dropped off at her flat, her flatmate Ella managed to start the row up all over again by merely asking how it had all gone and wasn’t that OIL on Caro’s new t-shirt?

A week passed and Caro went back to Mount Maunganui as she did most weekends.  When she got there she found out that Michelle and Grant had sorted things out and were now speaking again, but Grant very obviously blanked Caro at the Roadhouse when he saw her.  Finally at the end of the evening, they both stormed outside to have it out and a 15 minute row ensued during which THINGS WERE SAID.
 
End of friendship.  Caro and Grant avoided each other for the next six weeks or so, which was the time at which Grant was due to leave New Zealand and go to live in Australia.  Caro decided it would be peevish to avoid his leaving party and besides she wanted to hear him sing his karaoke favourite one last time ("New York, New York" in case you were wondering).  She arrived at the party to find Grant already semi-pissed.  "I'm so pleased you're here!" he told her, giving her a big hug and they both agreed that they'd been pretty silly.  They were best friends again and Grant was so delighted he gave Caro "a huge tonguey kiss."
 
"What the HELL is that about?!" said Caro.  "You're not supposed to be into girls!!"  
"Sorry," he apologised, "I don't know why I did that."
 
So that's the end of the story.  Caro told me that TO THIS DAY she cannot stand to hear The Carpenters.  "And I bet he doesn't remember that kiss, either," she added.

That was my only knowledge of Grant really, and found when I met him that he’s an absolutely lovely guy, very into fashion and "product" and his appearance is IMMACULATE.  His opinion was very important to Caro so she was delighted that he liked her new look.  Grant had worked as a model in the past, and trained to be an actor but he gave it up because he couldn't stand all the egomaniacs that the business attracts.  That sounds about right, because Grant really is a very sweet and child-like character himself and I couldn't see him as an egomaniac.  There's actually a real innocence about him, he's got a disarming smile and is almost impossible to dislike (except after a Tina Turner concert).
 
I took to him immediately, but this could be because of his fascination with poo.  As you know this is a pasttime of mine as well.  He was very interested by our toilet-sharing adventures at Mount Gambier Jail and told us that he often tries to catch his partner Craig on the bog.  (Although he gives his flatmate Jo her privacy - he would rather that remain a mystery.)