Hawaii

As a birthday treat, Caro booked us on a submarine dive so we could see all the fish.  

It was great!  We saw all sorts of fish, the unicorn fish, the spotted puffer fish, the butterfly fish and lots more fish that you have no idea what they look like so I'll shut up.  But the thing about these dives is that you probably get a better idea of what the ocean is like than from nature programmes on the telly which only ever shows the interesting stuff.  The actual sea is surprisingly desolate, and as Caro said it was like cruising over the surface of the moon.  It's like...

nothingnothingnothingfishnothingnothing
LOTSOFFISHLOTSOFFISH
nothingnothingnothing

The 'lots of fish' phase occurs around reefs.  The sub company had actually created artificial reefs by dumping planes and sinking ships in the area, which was very atmospheric and cool.  

Still, it surprised me how much the fish just hang out in big groups under outcrops and such, not moving or anything.  It seems such a waste; a whole ocean to swim in and the little guys all hang out together like a bunch of grapes, hiding in a shadow, like they're agorophobic or something.  

But it was excellent when we saw a big school of silvery fish (that would be the Latin Name) all swimming together and then SWOOSH - all turning As One.  I have a theory as to why they do that:

ALL THE FISH:   Okay lads, let's all follow Dwayne The Fish.  He seems to know where he's going.
DWAYNE:           (fart)
ALL THE FISH:  (turning as one)  JEE-sus Dwayne!  

The artificial reefs were lovely to look at - it's weird but it's like those planes and ships were dead when they were on the surface and now that they are sunken they have come back to life - prows covered in waving barnacles and shoals of fish - railings covered in coral now blooming like roses.  It was amazing, and makes you realise how transitory technology is compared to the regenerating power of nature.  Caro meanwhile was more interested in her fellow-passengers.  

"Look at those kids over there, they look like aliens.  Big heads, no chins and little bodies."  Then she added that this wouldn't surprise her as the mother looked like she'd been "abducted and interfered with."