Travelling home with my baby boy. I was all full of happiness at the thought of the next few months spent with him, after all of this year he spent working and not with me. Anyway we get back to his and then he tells me that he has to get a job and work and in that second I see the future.. And I hate it. Not being with him for the summer? I feel like it's what's been getting me through this year. It sometimes makes me angry, how little existence our relationship actually has. The lack of talking, the lack of seeing each other, it gets to me in such a deep way and I hate myself for allowing it to happen. If I didn't love him more than life itself, I don't think I would have the strength to be away from him so much..