Timotei ad

- or at least there might be a faint resemblance if Tess actually washed and brushed her hair.

I went back to feeling slow again today. I don't really want to write about it. I feel like writing nothing.

To look for a load of positives and good stuff and write them here would be to lie about how tough my days can be sometimes. To write about how I really feel feels like giving in and letting it take over.

But I'm sad, frustrated, angry and confused. There's no getting away from it. I'm sad about all the time I lose and all the things I have to give up. I'm frustrated that I have to accept I can't cope with things I long to do and even things I don't. I'm angry that this shit has to happen at all, and angry with myself for not being "normal". I'm confused by the inconsistency of being a person who is quite capable of being marvellous on some days and really fucking useless on others.

Today wasn't that bad. I think I am coming out of bad. But while I'm brushing myself off I'm looking over my shoulder and waiting for the next bad.

Deep breaths.