Meantime, in a Kirkwall Café

Cynthia:  Do you feel comfortable sitting in Jessie and Bessie’s seats? 
 
Deidre:  No bother, mind on this is the day they visit Big Igor.
 
Cynthia:  Don’t look now….
 
Deidre:  I’m not looking.
 
Cynthia:  Is yon no the man who always has a camera with him ?  When they called the Bobbies a week past he claimed he was a Blipper.  If you ask me he’s all F22, Cibachrome, out of focus, always Blips the same ruddy thing week after week.  Zooms in but nivir zooms oot.  It wouldn’t surprise me if he has a large black cape.  Talk aboot overexposed. 
 
Deidre:  He once asked me to visit him in his dark room and claimed he would let me see things develop.
 
Cynthia:  Does he ‘Follow’ you ?
 
Deidre:  Constantly.  I had to shake him off by the gas holder last week.
 
Cynthia:  Well Deidre, I’ve always said if you want to shake anyone off, by the gas holder is a good choice.
 
Deidre:  I heard he went to Gordonstoun.
 
Cynthia:  He did, but it was only to deliver a blackboard.
 
Deidre:  No wonder the Current Mrs Creel is always oot at accordion classes or at piano lessons.  Ooooh, I nearly forgot to tell ye that the Lollipop Man, Andy, currently has a bit of a thing for Gladys Rendall.
 
Cynthia:  Oh ?
 
Deidre:  Yes, only Wednesday past, I spied him stroking her Schnauzer, ootside Lidls.
 
Cynthia:  The temerity of some fowk.
 
Deidre:  Are you not going to finish that pancake?
 
Cynthia:  You mean you’ve got your teeth in today?
 
Deidre:  Did you hear a shutter click ?