Zikhona's Sweet 16

Isabel and I were invited to Nokhaya's daughter Zikhona's 16th birthday party today. The invitation said festivities would begin at noon, but Nokhaya called in the morning to say that we should not come until 1:30. Accounting for the usual festivity lag time, we arrived at 2pm. In the end, the party did not start until 3:30, but our misjudgement was for the best because we were allowed to play a minor role in food preparations and decoration as a result.

We tied gauzy orange and blue bows everywhere Nokhaya pointed, including around every chair, table, and tent corner. We also helped arrange plates and silverware and stirred things that needed stirring. I don't believe I've ever seen so much rice in a single pot as I did that day. I couldn't even fit my arms around it. And this is not to mention the creamed spinach, potato salad, fried chicken and glass bottles of colored soda in basins and crates around the room. There were also giant mesh sacks of mashed, boiled sweet potatoes hanging from hooks and steaming to the ceiling - being drained before the addition of butter and cream.

The ceremony itself featured a big white tent in which sat Zikhona, flanked by her parents, and on either side of her parents two community spiritual leaders, one male and one female, at a head table. Family, friends and community members sat in rows of chairs facing the table. The table itself was lined with cakes and candies. Nokhaya said that she was having such a large party for Zikhona because Zikhona is the only of her sisters to not be pregnant before 16, and she gets good grades and doesn't get into trouble.

The first event was prayer for Zikhona. It began with a joint community prayer led by the female spiritual leader, and was followed by everyone saying their own prayer. Most of the audience said their prayer out loud, and it was one of the most surreal experiences to sit in the middle of this. Some whispered, some spoke fervently. Some cried. Some shouted at God. It added to loud hum of prayers all throughout the room.

When this stopped, the speeches began. Community members came one by one to the front of the room to give advice and blessings. Topics seemed to hinge around HIV/AIDS, teen pregnancy, peer pressure, drugs and alcohol. Between speeches, the women sang hymns and danced in circles at the front of the room while playing small instruments. I definitely didn't miss a dance.

Isabel and I, being somewhat of an anomaly in the room (German and American, respectively), were asked to say a few words to Zikhona. Isabel deflected, but I agreed. My speech was something about the importance of education, perseverance, and self-confidence. I can't remember much because I was really nervous. The women gave me "amens" and encouraging nods throughout, though, and that helped.

I heard the party didn't end until early the next morning. The afternoon feast was followed by a braai and no crumb was left uneaten.

(this picture was taken during setup at Nokhaya's - similar basins to the one on the right here were used for each of the food items)