Symon's Marvel Adventures

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

On Sunday I attempted to watch "Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania" with Caro. Here's how it went:

CARO: What's this?
ME: It's "Ant-Man 3". You like Ant-Man, remember?
CARO: Humph. I don't think I do.
ME: You do! We have this discussion EVERY TIME.
CARO: Huh. Yeah. I suppose.
SYMON: Phew.
CARO: What's happening? Is that Michelle Pfeiffer? Who's that man? 
SYMON: Yes, that's Michelle Pfeiffer. She's trapped in the Quantum Zone where time runs differently.
CARO: Oh.
SYMON: (Warming to my theme) Yes. So this must be a flashback because they rescued her from the Quantum Thingy at the end of the second film. Which you liked.
CARO: What's happening now? Who is that with Ant-Man?
SYMON: That's "The Wasp". Her father is Michael Douglas who invented the "Ant-Man" suit and then when Paul Rudd stole it they realised he could help them and that's when he became "Ant-Man" but at the end of the second film he got trapped in the Quantum Zone Thingy after they rescued Michelle Pfeiffer and that's when they realised that time runs differently in there and they could use it to time-travel and steal the stones from Thanos. 
CARO: No I mean, who is that woman?
SYMON: She...
CARO: She is NOTHING to me.
SYMON: I think she was in something Jeff likes (Googling). She was in "Lost".
CARO: Evangeline Lilly?
SYMON: Yes. I thought she was nothing to you.
CARO: She was like the Megan Fox of the early 2000's. I remember her.
SYMON: Good.
CARO: But what's going on with her hair. It's like LEGO hair. What's that about?
SYMON: I'm not sure.
CARO: And how is she that girl's mother?
SYMON: She's not. Paul Rudd divorced her mother in the first film.
CARO: I think we should order Thai food for dinner.
SYMON: Ok.
CARO: She's like Megan Fox. But not.

This is why I watch so few Marvel films these days.

S.