Ties that bind...

In Loving Memory...

Song says it all. Just one of those days where memories of my friend Kenny came flooding in as soon as I opened my eyes. Dreaming of those who passed on typically is comforting...but some days it makes me just get on my knees and pray for it all to stop.

I have Kenny's things in my house - I picked them up from his brother when I was home...they're for Josh. Maybe thats bothering me - his scent is around me. Kenny always worked his bikes and cars so he smelled of motor oil! Funny, how I didnt notice the scent before, but now I pick it up everywhere.

I was talking w/ my friend Tara - she has had dreams about her brother almost every day since he passed away and everything reminds her of him. We realized today the irony of it all...our friend Kenny was 25, Tara's brother, Eddy was 50, and Allen's grandfather was 100. All three passed away suddenly - they were healthy and well.

I simply missed my friend today. I miss his face, miss talking to him, miss his randomness, his laugh, his silly grin. His spirit is around us all - some days it's a blessing, some days it hurts like hell. It's hard to swallow - those moments where I realize he is really gone. It's been almost three months.

I was thinking about Thanksgiving today...Kenny playing w/ Tara and Allen's pups. He's always wanted a dog. That was a really good day. Seems like we spent every holiday together. I've been gone for Christmas two years in a row...Kenny always made sure to let me know how I much I sucked for leaving ;)

Just one of those days...tomorrow will be better...goodnight all.

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A year ago...so peaceful...