Crime Scene!

Nellie took  Oscar and I back to the field for his evening walk! Every time I go out I'm amazed how the hedgerows have changed! Oscar was very happy to be in the field and happily scruffed up the grass and rolled on it! After he'd explored the field he came back to sit with us, so Nellie walked round the field to give him more exercise - but he'd only go so far with her and then come charging back to me! So sweet of him! 
This should have been a positive trip but unfortunatly my IBS and it's friends anxiety and panic have returned  big time and it was more of an endurance test. I thought it would subside once sister left and with the hospital visit over and the positive news my bone had knitted together so I could weightbear. But it worryingly didn't. Everytime anyone came to the house my stomach would go into spasms and  I would repeatedly "misswallow." I go to swallow but find I can't and I go into a 2-3 attempts to do so, almost like a swallowing spasm. During the process it's as if I can't breathe so very scary. 
For the last 2 weeks I've been doing the Nerva app on my phone which is a hypnotherapy programme designed to rewire the brain/ gut connection. Each day starts with a reading on how Nerva works, about IBS, it's causes, treatments, effectiveness as a treatment as opposed to any other form of intervention. It then starts with a  relaxing exercise before  a different guided meditation then positive statements as to how the gut is calming down, bowel functions being smooth and under control.  The sessions last about 15 minutes and are very relaxing. I have another 4 weeks of the programme to do. I have also restarted my DARE app for the anxiety. It is about facing the fear of anxiety, Defusing the fear, Accepting it, Running Towards it and Engaging in other activities. There are so many different elemnts to listen to - meditations, assistance for when having a panic attack, techniques to employ at each stage of the DARE process, packs on health anxiety, feeling trapped - such a comprehensive and effective resource. So using the DARE approach I managed to get to the field, stay in the field for 30 minutes and get home! I was emotionally and physically exhausted though! 
AsI said in my hospital blip, I can understand how my anxiety has returned, worry over my healing and lack of sleep due to leg pain at night, and worry over who is going to walk Oscar and will he kept on the lead! I did speak to the TaiChi guy about my anxiety and keeping Oscar on lead after the time he had him off lead and he went after 2 small dogs! He was very understanding - in his late teens and  twenties he went through breakdowns so is well aware of how it feels. That helped relieve that particular anxiety!
The other anxiety was Oscar's nails! I had two visits to the vets with sister and after she left he came back from a walk and i noticed blood on the kitchen floor. He had ripped the top half of his nail off and it was showing the pink inside of the nail! I phoned my  vet but they don't do home visits, I asked if a vet could call me back. Come the afternoon she called and reassured me that it would harden up over the next few days and as long as no pus appeared all would be fine! Luckily I had some rubber booties he could wear on his walks - took two of us to get one on and he would hop and then  shake his leg as he made his way out of the house , but once on his walk would forget all about it! I think he has decided to compete or empathise with my bad leg!
So after a rather intense 2 weeks I am implementing my road to recovery in both mental and physical health! Physio appointment on monday will hopefully see more steps to improvement!