In Dire Straits ….

The NHS, that is, rather than me … 
Warning - a rather rambling  NHS rant follows! 

I eventually arrive home 24 hours after leaving yesterday. I am grateful to be in far less pain, but exhausted, angry and disappointed by the whole experience.  I find it hard to believe that the emergency care system I’ve just experienced has taken place here in the UK. 

There was never any ward or any bed for me, so essentially I’ve spent 23 hours sitting upright. The nature of my long term condition is such that  sitting for any extended time has negative results; I have to limit my time editing at the computer, for example. But this is on top of the trauma of last night’s repeated brutal  attempts at catheterisation. Finally, for the last hour of my time there, a nurse finds a reclining chair for me to sit. At least G brought my cushion from the car which has helped to make the ordeal slightly easier. 

My previous experiences of nursing care at the local hospital have been positive; staff  kind and considerate despite an unrelenting pace of work. This time it’s very different.  Patients seem to be largely ignored, and I find I have to seek out staff to ask for promised pain relief, to question when I’ll be reviewed, seen, moved, or have the scan I’m scheduled for when the allocated time has passed. And ask again when nothing happens. There are several times when I am just in tears brought about by either pain or frustration or both. 

People sit passively, accepting that this is just the way it is. We hear of the scandal of frail elderly patients left on trollies through the night. I’m sure there are may be many of these behind the doors of the treatment room area, but here in the waiting room the scandal is that those frail elderly patients are left sitting in wheel chairs through the night, often wheeled around by their equally frail partners, grey-faced, dull-eyed, confused. It is an appalling situation.  And yes, there are several ambulances lined up outside as well, unable to offload their patients who are at least in comparative  comfort - while  the ambulances are unavailable for emergency calls. 

My Rasputin-like doctor of last night speaks largely in grunts, shows no sympathy, he and the nurse assigned communicating  in Arabic leaving me feeling vulnerable and isolated. Later, I’m almost begrudgingly placed on a drip delivering pain relief. There are a few moments of genuine human kindness; the nurse who patiently shows me how to empty my catheter - I have to find someone to ask; the nurse who offers me her hands to squeeze during the second catheter attempt. But overall, I’m shocked by the lack of compassion. There is time for two nurses to decorate the reception desk with coronation bunting, there is time for them to chat with each other and look at their mobile phones, but there is no time to talk to, sympathise and reassure. One nurse who intervenes when I finally break down some 21 hours into this ordeal sympathises and sadly tells me she’s got to the point where she she avoids eye contact with patients because she knows how long they’ve been waiting and is just plain embarrassed.

Anyway, eventually I do get my ultrasound scan which reveals my kidneys to be sound but for a cyst that doesn’t seem to be an issue. Meanwhile, I’m sent home with my catheter which will remain in place for two weeks. At this time I’ll hopefully have a cystoscopy and a trial to see whether I can cope without the catheter.  Of course, though this has relieved the awful pain of recent days, it plays no part in diagnosing what is causing all these problems. 

Please forgive the rant. If I was less exhausted, I’d describe my anger to be incandescent, but in my present state it’s more of sn ineffectual damp squib. I don’t know what the future of the NHS is, but drastic change is needed. I genuinely fear having to call on emergency care in the future. 

Thanks so much for your kind and sympathetic comments yesterday - and your response to my castle blip. I really don’t know how I took that photograph! 

It will come as no surprise that I don’t take any shots today  - but I did spend some time faffing with this image from last week so I hope you’ll understand. It’s a close up of a sleeping mallard at RSPB Conwy.  A mono of the original is in extras.