Advertising feature (satirical)

Come to Kinmylies shopping centre which caters for every need. Step through the Spanish Colonial style archway and into the local Price Freeze foodstore where the smiling staff are there to help you eight days a week. Ladies why not try Sadie’s Hair for a new look on that special day. You won’t regret it but if you do, don’t ring me. (Ha! Ha!) And if you are feeling peckish, there are Chinese dishes galore at The Great Wall of China.  You can order their delicious doughballs by phone. Unless you are in China. (Ha!Ha!)  Yes, Kinmylies is the place to be!  Conveniently located five miles from this cinema.