Health Hazard

Dear O'H dear, Lovely Tea Jenny and The Eldest Mini Princess,

Smashley was in Edinburgh because his tenant was moving out of his rental flat. We had arranged to meet up in the evening and I called him this morning to make a plan.

Smashley: “I don’t I’m going to be able to go out. The flat is filthy and I have people coming to see the it tomorrow. It’s going to take me all day to clean.”

Me: “Why don’t we meet for a quick lunch then? You have to eat. I’ll meet you at the flat.

So that was the plan. I naively wondered how bad it could really be.

I very quickly stopped wondering. I now know what can happen. If a bathroom has NEVER been cleaned. And it’s not good. There was poo in places that poo shouldn’t be*. There was mould growing inside the fridge. Also many unidentifiable things had been spilled and there was a whole lot of sticky. It would genuinely have qualified for a visit from Kim and Aggie**.

I felt so bad for him that I gave him a hand for a bit. There were some very bad swear words but I am good at cleaning. I had Mary Doll as my sensei and perfection was the only acceptable standard!

I was rewarded with a couple of pints and a fish platter in the pub across the road before I headed home which was good as I was desperate for a pee. The toilet in the flat was clean by then but the memory was still too fresh!

C

*In your bum or flushed down the toilet.

**Hosts of a channel 4 program, How Clean Is Your House? They went to dirty houses and showed people how not to be hell beasts, wallowing in their own filth.