Frappuccino Bay

Your roving reporter braved the waves pounding in on Seatown, Cullen today.  The age old combination of  March / Monday / sleet / 2.5°c /North East wind at 42 mph meant a dearth of bipeds in Portsoy / Cullen and Banff.

In a dry spell the World was awash with bewildered and disenfranchised pensioners driving round in circles.  The Aberdeenshire and old Banffshire border territory was held in suspension.

Sadly the scenario witnessed in Banff can be replicated through the UK.  A once proud County Town.  A decided non-eximious encounter.  Now it's tanning saloons, turmeric coffee, birthing pools, vegetable frighteners, Turkish barbers - l went in for a quote and the boy wis fae New Byth.  Trapped in an eternal B movie we had to throw two sixes to enter the panic room.

Yes - yet more dross you'll exponge quick.  Tuesday is Pensioners' day in the Spotty Bag shop.  Coach parties fae the pierheid.  Terms and conditions may apply

It can no longer be denied, I had Skink and a turmeric ennui .

Extra for A, T and C.