The Tide Flows Out

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Those of you who know me well know that I do not have much of a temper, not day-to-day.

In this, I am unlike Caro who can fly off the handle at any number of things, such as:

- Failing technology
- Flies buzzing around her head
- Jasper shouting his head off
- Irritating people on adverts

She'll snap, "Oh for F***'S SAKE!" But then her temper is gone again. In a flash like lightning without thunder.

Generally speaking, these things bother me but they do not fill me with rage. 

But those of you who know me know that when I DO lose my temper it stays gone for a few days. I boil over with RAGE and then even if the source of the rage goes away, the feelings still bounce around inside me like an angry wasp. 

I can't do much about this. I can try to see it rationally. But I just can't make the feelings go away. 

It's worse if there's not much I can do about the anger. Which in my current circumstances I cannot. So this last week I've been really on edge. And suddenly I'm Caro - about to boil over all the time over the smallest things. 

Caro senses this and she has been so nice to me. She takes me on drives and smiles at me and she does silly little things that make me smile. Today she drove me to the beach and it was a beautiful day. We walked by the water and looked at birds and driftwood sculptures and patterns made on the beach by amateur artists. 

It reminded me of this song by one of my favourite bands of the 90's, 10,000 Maniacs.

I watched the waves coming in and out. And I sensed my mood changing. 

The gentle water lapped at the shore and the wasp flew away. 

Even looking at this picture makes me smile. And the buzzing in my head has gone.

S.