'It never lasts'

My mother pointed out the sunset to me while we were cleaning up in the kitchen, and the sun was still at the golden-syrup stage of going down. She was right. It doesn't.last, it's a fleeting pleasure to witness. Luckily my mother can get both sunrise and sunset vistas in her sitting room, as she has three windows 

I've been here since last Thursday evening, taking my turn at looking after my 85 year old mother, who has finally been diagnosed with vascular dementia. It's tough. I can't really leave here alone during the day, as she wanders out of her flat and sometimes can't get back in from outside because she has forgotten how to use her key. The other residents don't always understand. 

She is not in any physical pain but seems to be in mental anguish most of the time, and hates living in a retirement flat. My sisters moved her here last September, because a suitable  flat had finally come up to rent, and there had been fears for her safety in her previous place. However, as my elder sister, blipper TMLHereandThere, now says of people with dementia (PWD), they'd much rather be wandering around their old houses, possibly getting into danger or difficulty....the change is too much for them. 

We can't go back there now. And today was a good day. We got up, had a healthy breakfast, dressed, showered, got hair washed, by about midday. Mother needs help with almost everything. Then we walked the short distance to the shop (there's a busy road to cross, but fortunately there are traffic lights now). In the shop we scored points by getting a hot chocolate drink from a machine, and a newspaper. We were able to sit outside in the sunny garden, drink our drinks, and do the crossword (mother helped, sort of).When we got inside, my brother and his daughter from Greece contacted us by pre-arranged video call. I do hope my brother gets to see our mother soon. He hasn't visited for eight years, owing to crippling money problems connected with the Greek economy, and the nature of his job. He's going to get a massive shock.

Later, I made carrot soup, which tasted meh, and after lunch,another call ensued, from my uncle in Devon, our mother's brother. He taught us a routine practice to let go of worries. Not sure how this will work out. Worth a go. 

Then, when we were washing up, my mother started on one of her 'sundowning' conversations, this time about having worried about money all her life, ever since leaving school. On reflection, though there are times when she's had enough, she has never been able to deal with the actual thought of money, and has as always let bills pile up unopened. In retrospect, that's a red flag for mental health difficulties. Easy to say that now. Not so obvious in 1985, when I was 21.

In any case, I managed to keep repeating some of what my uncle had taught us, so the conversation did not go on in a circular fashion for hours.  We went on to watch Defending Britain's Coastline, and Saving Lives at Sea (mother used to go to sea on scientific cruises).Later she cleaned her own teeth, got into PJs, and ticked herself into bed. She was so sweet and pleased with herself, like a three-year-old who's got the hang of the routine  for the first time.

There's a sensor by the door now, that goes off if anyone leaves the flat after 9pm, in case mother goes wandering. I made my escape before 9, to the guest flat upstairs. I wanted to watch 'the new series of Unforgiven' at 9, but guess what? I'd lost a whole day! I thought today was Monday! Turns out that, as well as being payday, it was also Tuesday! 

How on earth did that happen?
I couldn't possibly comment.