Bennifer

Not only is this the first time since summer 2021 that I have been in the UK, it’s exciting because for the last few weeks I have been cooking up a surprise alongside my UK-based mole, Clare.

As it’s the year many of my friends turn 40, when I realised I’d be in Europe on the day my university friends were gathering for Hayley’s do in London, I decided to bob across under the cover of darkness. On brand Hay had chosen an ‘RnB bottomless brunch’ event and Clare worked her magic with the venue and seating plan to secure me a spot unbeknownst to the others.

Early Saturday morning I found myself trying to buy some suitable shoes on Shoreditch High Street, which has prices to make one wince. I was successful but nearly ran out of time to get to the do because I was like a kid in a sweet shop being in London and spent too long drinking an açai smoothie.

Clare and I continued the covert operation; her gathering the gang in a pub whilst I loitered on the street and negotiated early entry to the venue so I could be sitting there nonchalantly as my friends arrived. It worked a treat and Hayley was sufficiently excited and dramatic.

By 2pm we were all honestly quite trashed on jugs of punch and bottles of processo. The rest of the day was quite messy with the birthday girl needing a five-hour nap, and struggles to navigate and access what should have been quite a simple pathway to the Airbnb the gang had booked. We wound up in the evening buying snacks in Sainsbury’s, where I made a beeline for the reduced shelf. Cut price jam tarts and potato salad with which I made potato salad sandwiches (friends shocked but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it). Lucy exited with two 10p gammon joints which served her very well the following day when the London sojourn was over and she had to return to life in Birmingham as a busy working mother of two, feeding her family on an NHS salary.

The picture is from the chaotic bottomless brunch. Hay came in homage to her icon, Jennifer Lopez, and this Ben Affleck mask was used throughout the day in all sorts of gratuitous poses to celebrate the union of Ben and Jen.