My neighbours have moved out. I got the drill out and put this self up (typo but I’m enjoying ‘self’ rather than ‘shelf’ … if only it were that easy).
I feel as though I’ve been tiptoeing around all year even though I’ve tried not to let my neighbours’s hypersensitivity affect me too much. Apart from infrequent trips in the car with her husband (who works night shifts) I haven’t seen her leave the house all year. She said she could hear every creak as I moved around the house and so created a slightly oppressive feeling of omnipresence. We’ve got on okay chatting across our back gardens, and we have talked about it (mix of agoraphobia/social anxiety) but whenever I’ve put music or the radio on she has knocked on the back door and asked if she has upset me. I realise it was the inverse, I was upsetting her, even though I never have anything on very loud, other than an overindulgence of The Archers perhaps. Although, I have the greatest sympathy and understand there is a long back history here, the extreme level of hyper-vigilance has been subtly wearing and I’ve held off doing jobs like this one and struggled to feel entirely relaxed in the space. I have done various things to try to help improve insulation/noise absorption, like carpeting the stairs, which I have wanted to do, but I recognise that I now feel some relief and freedom to inhabit, rather than perch, in this new space.
So, the drill is out and the radio is on …

Aside from that I’ve felt ropey since the new year. I started off alright but have gone decidedly downhill. Partly burnt out perhaps. I was feeling extremely tearful with work but have realised when I had supervision that I still have a lot of leave to take so that may help, or not. I seem to have lost the energy or impetus to write, or do anything much.