Running to stand still

I think it would be illustrative of what my title means if I just list my day, so that I can spend a moment on what I feel about it.
1. 8am - up and ready to go shopping for the week's shop. Back 9.40am.
2. Breakfast, clear up, make coffee.
3. Do some Italian.
4. 12.30pm - to church for a funeral. Himself playing, me being a church person at the back of an enormous congregation that filled the church. Found a warm seat, albeit one facing the wrong way, in the coffee area. Result.
5. Back home, head hurting, aches and pains from sitting. Decide a walk in Benmore Gardens might help. In the rain.
6. Climb to top of gardens and down again in the rain. Head slightly better.
7. Cook and consume early dinner.
8. Speak on phone to firstborn, whose birthday it is.
9. To the study, for a Zoom Vestry meeting. Concentrate hard, contribute the odd thought, agree to undertake a bit of letter-writing.
10. Collapse of stout party with cup of tea and a bit of panettone.

And here I am, realising yet again that I'm past maintaining the pace of living that would once have seemed normal. I can no longer go straight from one activity to another without a wee sleep after lunch, or a quiet forty minutes reading the paper. I hate myself for it. 

My main blip is symbolic, I think, of my current burned-out feeling. It's a wonderful wood fire we came upon in the gardens, where the winter clearing up is going on. Despite the fine rain, the heat was so great that my face got red and hot from the distance I'm taking the photo at. I just wish I could post the video with the sounds - I love the sound of a fire out of doors. 

The extra is of a view I've rarely seen before in the gardens: we had to take a diversion because of track maintenance, and this led us in front of the big house (now an outdoor centre for Edinburgh schools). This is the view of the parks that the inhabitants of the house would have enjoyed, vanishing into the pale grey distance, with its perspective of trees dwindling before them. 

Tomorrow, I have one huvtae - church  business, to be conducted from home. And another huvtae I've just thought of: I huvtae have a nap after lunch!