Old Man Noises

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

The camp facilities were not as expected. I had brought a TOWEL and TOILETRIES.

Look I'm not saying I expected an en-suite and a bidet, but I thought there would be a shower block with cold water or something. 

No. There were toilets and sinks. 

"You can shower with baby-wipes!" smiled Manda. 

THESE PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS.

But I was DETERMINED to brush my teeth this morning. The sinks were two minutes walk from my tent. I had done the walk on day two and discovered that my sneakers leak and the dewy grass got my sneakers soaked and my socks wet. 

I HATE WET SOCKS. 

Seriously, wet socks are the worst. They are only just behind Nazis and nuclear weapons on my list of things I hate. 

So today I had a plan. 

BARE FEET. 

What could go wrong? 

GRAVEL

Oh. 

See, in between me and the sinks was a lot of grass and two big patches of OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW

Gravel.

But brushing my teeth felt like a blessed relief. I felt nearly human again after another night of disturbed sleep. And now for a relaxing walk back to my OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW tent. 

Effing gravel. 

When I got back I met Mo, just packing up his stuff. I cadged a ride back to Wellington with him and then said goodbye to everyone over a farewell cup of tea.

There were hugs and promises to meet up again soon. But I was glad to be on my way. I had missed Caro and the cats very much. 

The trip back to Wellington was very pleasant. Mo has a calming, peaceful demeanour and I enjoyed his chat back to the railway station. 

All the same, the high point of my day was when I saw Caro sitting waiting in her car when I finally drew into Paraparaumu.

Now I have to say, I didn't do much this weekend. Not at all. In fact  Shenée mocked me as we left. I revealed that I didn't know how to take my tent down.

"You mean your experience of camping is that you arrived with your tent UP and now Jeff's going to take it back DOWN again for you??" she laughed.

"Well... yes..." I replied. 

"You are SUCH a diva!" she gasped. "Oh I'll come to your camp! What's the wi-fi password?" she added, mocking me. 

I don't mind the mockery. I think I deserved that.

But despite my lack of chopping wood or putting up tents or constructing fire pits this weekend, I am effing EXHAUSTED.

EXHAUSTED.

I find myself making old man noises more than usual this weekend. Every time I lift myself up off the couch there's an OOOOOOFFFFAAAAH. Every time I make a cuppa I SIGGGHHHHHHH. And even reaching for my cup while sitting down makes me go AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. 

I shall wear the bottom of my trousers rolled.

Fortunately, no-one here seems to mind. In fact I think Caro likes having her old man back. The boys certainly do. Jasper curled up behind my legs and Punky patted at my face and it's just nice to be back with my family.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

S.