A curious incident

Police were called to my office today to investigate this rather naughty behaviour in broad daylight and full view of anyone standing in the car park with binoculars, of Zebra and the wooden bendy Ikea man.

The fact that this lewd naughtiness took place in my office meant that the strong arm of the law was tightly wrapped around my neck as I was held in front of my table lamp and asked repeatedly 'are you a pimp?'

'Wimp?' I asked as my ears had been muffled by said law strong arms.

'Not taking this serious eh sir?' said the gruff older officer who had an uncanny resemblance to Alan Sugar had Sir Alan's face met an iron full on.

'Has anyone ever mentioned,' I offered in the spirit of building idle chit chat, 'that you have an uncanny resemblance to Alan Sugar had Sir Alan's face met an iron full on?'

'Would you like me to pull each of your eyebrows out one by one?' he asked without amusement.

'Not particularly...' I replied helplessly.


Later, after the strong arms had gone and I had been given a strict lecture about wasting police time, the young culprits owned up. I'm off to deal with them now with my tweezers. Oh yes.

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