Hoohas Together

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Waitangi Day itself was another low-key day. Although Caro and I did manage to fit in a lunch with Manda and Jefe. 

It was great to see them again. Due to their getting COVID from Caro's party, it's been about three weeks. Naturally we've been chatting to them all that time and were starting to worry that, cooped up in isolation, they might actually MURDER EACH OTHER TO DEATH.

So it was lovely to see them today, happy and attentive to each other and past the premeditated murder stage of their relationship*.

Afterward, Caro wasn't feeling too good (she's had an upset stomach for a few days). So we went home where she watch her tv shows and I continued to play with my podcast** while Jasper slept next to my feet (see today's blip).

But in the evening I had a lovely call with the Princess! Also Murphy who WOOFED and WOOFED his displeasure at my not having a sausage naan for him. 

We talked about many things, including Caro's "upset stomach". Which - as we all know - is just a euphemism for "noxious farting". The Princess revealed she has no sense of smell and can therefore venture without fear into any toilet ever. 

I am envious. 

But I also told the Princess how very sympathetic and kind and nice and lovely and amazing I have been to Caro while she's been farting all over me and how this demonstrates how much I am like Jesus, while SOME WIVES treat their husbands like EFFING LEPERS when they are sick.

Not that I'm complaining. Oh my no. I was just commenting at great length upon it.

"No, I'm with Caro on this," replied the Princess. "I don't care what you say, it's vaginas together on this issue."

I told the Princess that "Vaginas Together" sounded like an erotic film from the 1980's and we moved on to other topics.

BUT

Then Caro appeared with a cup of tea for me! It was most unexpected!

"You sound so surprised!" said the Princess.

"Well... it just doesn't happen very often," I said. Truthfully.

"Turd," said Caro.

"Did you hear that??" I said to the Princess. "She called me a TURD!"

"I'm going to side with Caro on this one," replied the Princess.

"Vaginas together?" I asked.

"Vaginas together," said the Princess.

"Vaginas together!" agreed Caro. 

Bloody hell. They are like Fanny Union Members. 

Anyway. So I enjoyed my discussion very much with the Princess (also Caro) but now I know where I stand.

Alone, with a willy. 

S.

* We've all been there.

** I found some royalty-free music which will be the theme tune. I can't tell you how much this helps. It just helps me fix the mood for the whole thing.