Why me!!!

Never work with children and small animals, especially the one above Fergus!!
Here I am looking after youngest's  two dugs and alway when your'e looking after someone elses stuff you worry!
This morning as is his habit, Donald put the two wee Tibby dogs in the front garden as it is more doggy proof, however he then let them out into the main part and lo did the little black one  (Frankie) no disappear.  We searched both gardens and many many curses were flung along with his name but no Frankie. I jumped in the car to look further afield and phoned my pal to go on dog patrol stand by then drove back round to the house to tell him I was calling out a posse of pals to look for the nowhere to be seen Frankie. When I went in there was Donald sitting eating his bloody cornflake and the elusive Frankie sitting beside him. "Where was the wee *****r" " I found him stuck in a plastic bucket!! (when you live with someone like Donald who hoards all manner of stuff you don't ask why he needs a bloody plastic bucket "I demanded why he didn't think to phone me to tell me as I was about to summon the neighbourhood to look for the wee creep, "I was going to call you after I finished my conrflakes" He was nearly wearing them I was so angry
Anyhow this was about half 9 so I sat down for a cup of tea when Fergus (the one in the picture) was as usual trying to hump Marag, she pushed him off and I noticed Fergus was walking weird!! like on his tippy toes with his back humped (like you see in the Tom & Jerry cartoons when Tom creeps up on Gerry) i though this is odd so I picked him up. OMG His entir male doggy bits had come undone !! and wouldnt go back in, it was an ugly sight to behold, small wonder he was walking weird. 
I had no idea on God's green earth what to do, I just had visions of no 2 daughter taking out a contract on me! Anyway I phoned the vet and explained that his wee doggy undercarraige had come free and was refusing to go back in its container. The vet explained that this can indeed happen and asked how long ago when it happened, about 15 minutes I said but I don't know how to put him back together (she laughed and said well he's not Humpty Dumpty)
Here's what to do, get some ice and wrap it in a towel and put it on his wee lipstick for 5 mins, remove then repeat, hopefully that should work.
Off I ran to the freezer, no ice!!  just a frozen lobster , a frozen ipad (don't ask) eventually I found a pack of frozen sprouts wrapped them up then handed Donald the bloody dog and the sprouts and said "you do it"  'Not sure I feel comfortable doing" this said he, "get over yourself and do it"
Thankfully after about 15 minutes all of Fergusus wee bits went back into place and there was relief all round and not just for the damn dog. Mind you I'm not sure I will ever feel the same about frozen sprouts ever again.
They say things come in threes and yes it did, I also got a puncture!! Not going out any more today.