Here We Go!

Hey Girl, Hey Boy,

Today was the big day; there was a lot of prep involved. 

Not for me. I did almost eff all. And besides I don't have long flowing hair to get styled. 

But there were also cupcakes to be collected (thanks Craig) and decorations to be put up in the venue. The "Boeing Room" at the Classic Flyers Museum in Tauranga. 

We* were doing pretty well at the decorating when Mo, Tiger and Loulou arrived! They also helped, especially Mo who is one of those people like Fat Pete who would only ever require a stepladder to pet a giraffe, if that giraffe were also on a stepladder.

He's tall is what I'm trying to say.

I got the slideshow and the playlist going and fetched drinks while they were doing this. Mind you, Tiger's main contribution was to make willy-jokes with a prop bomb that was lying around. (See extras, if you dare).

Around 6:30pm the guests started to arrive for real. Ellie and AJ showed up and I immediately put AJ to work fixing the projector. It's great having an End User Devices expert on the guest list. 

I loved seeing all the Wellington people arrive. We'd been following their progress on a group WhatsApp chat and there were lots of fun road trippin' pictures. Also from the South Island contingent of G-Man and OrkneyCaro, Dave and Kath. 

To reiterate, those last four were our mates from back in Edinburgh from the days when we would all go dancing together either in flats around town or at Po-Na-Na.

The reason I drop this detail here is that it will become relevant later. Stick a pin in that for me. 

By now the place was really filling up. My lovely wife is really quite popular and there were at least 60 people there from all phases of her life. I swanned and fluffed as best I could, doing the host thing and was gratified to see that people were mixing and mingling of their own accord. 

As for me, I managed to catch up with Dani and The Cop, Macca and "Crazy" Ian  the Artist who I have not seen in about 20 years. He is a legend of a Kiwi who used to walk the streets of Edinburgh barefoot and shagged all of Caro's mates. 

Caro had secured a terrific band called Daughters of Ally made up of two sisters who still managed to sound like all of Fleetwood Mac, Guns 'n' Roses and The Proclaimers combined. As co-host of the evening, I felt like I had to get out there and groove right up to the point where I felt like I was going to pass out. 

Never pass out at your wife's birthday party. It's bad form. I went for a sit-down outside. 

But then I found Shenée dancing to "Sweat (A La La La La Long)" by herself. This actually happened a lot all evening. Women were out there dancing without their partners. At one point I was even asked to go out and "bring back some men" to dance with. 

"They are looking for man-flesh," I told AJ, who immediately feigned a limp. Jefe hid behind him.

So I went to dance with Shenée who pointed out HOW rude the lyrics of the song "Sweat (A La La La La Long)" are. 

I'm gonna make you sweat
Sweat til you can't sweat no more
And if I you cry out
I'm gonna push it, push it some more

She mimed them to me and there were gestures. 

It was kind of a relief when it was over. 

It was at this point that Caro gave a speech. She hadn't intended to, she was kind of pressured into it. She does not like giving speeches but she was cool and funny and commented on all of the people who'd been at her parties over the years. She may have mentioned the condom in the veggie patch. 

And then they made ME give a speech.

Ha. I say that like I don't LOVE this stuff. "Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...." I began. I can't really remember much of what I said but I just looked at Caro who was looking beautiful and lovely and glamorous and said that. 

It seemed to go down pretty well.

However, the Kainga Ora people faded pretty early. I think part of it was that they were away on their own on a semi-holiday for once. Especially Ellie and AJ who were apparently having a great time and I'm pretty sure wanted to CONTINUE having a great time back at their hotel. Shenée and Craig had also had a wonderful time swimming in the ocean and going to the hot pools and I think they had tired themselves out. 

I was also feeling pretty tired by this stage and put it down to our advancing years. The band had finished and we watched the venue empty. I asked Caro what I should put on and she asked for this by The Chemical Brothers.

OrkneyCaro immediately appeared. "The muscle memory kicked in," she explained. G-Man, Dave, Kath, Mo, "Crazy" Ian and Dani also rocked up as Caro and Fiona stacked up Basement Jaxx, Groove Armada and Stereo MC's and the next hour or so it was Po-Na-Na in 2002 again.

I seem to remember Dave and I twerking up against each other at one point. It didn't feel weird. Put that thought out of your mind. This was me and Dave in 2002 as well. 

In other words, another great Caro party. This may actually have been the best one since her 30th in 2003.

I can't remember if I was THIS sore after the party in 2003 though. Let's assume I was. It will make me feel better about the passage of time.

And as I collapsed into bed and thought about how lucky I am to have been with Caro all these years, only one thing kept returning and returning to my mind.

SUPERSTAR DJ'S
HERE WE GOOOOOOO!!

We get older. We don't mature.

S.

* "We" is a strong word. I floated about like a fart in a trance.