Why Am I Here?

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Today was a funny old day. I went into the office. Did some stuff. Attended a few meetings. Came away feeling vaguely unnerved.

Okay. So you may have noticed that at Kiwibank I have not yet mentioned my new PM. My new Gromit or Jess or Corrie or (god forbid) my new Smock. 

This is because I HAVE no new Gromit or Jess or Corrie or Smock. We're just like this team... of people... doing stuff...

Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing...? I don't know... Are people HAPPY with what I'm doing...? I guess...

I mean. So long as they keep paying me, who cares. But on the other hand... unnerving...

Caro, meanwhile was having a similar "why am I here?" moment at the hairdresser. She turned up to get her new extensions and they took out the OLD extensions and then broke it to her that the new extensions hadn't turned up yet and so they would have to put the old ones back in again and maybe she could come back later in the week?

"I wish they had mentioned this BEFORE I went all the way into town and sat there for three hours," she grumbled. Apparently the hairdresser was mortified and was hoping the courier would show up with Caro's new hair. 

But still. 

I met with Briar for lunch. She was as quirky and funny as always. She openly admits to being very strange, to which I always reply, "Who isn't?" 

She seems to like this and while she's not EXACTLY an open book, she probably opens up to me more than most. Right now she's trying to have a blood test but she is having issues with the blood-taking part. 

"I'm not afraid of being stabbed," she told me, bluntly. She's also not afraid of the sight of blood. So what's the problem here?

The issue is that she is incredibly ticklish. I have witnessed this first-hand. Claire decided to give Briar a massage in the office one time. 

Unbidden, I might add. 

And before I could do anything to stop Claire, Briar was balled up like a hedgehog. I had to point out to Claire that Briar MIGHT NOT be enjoying the experience as much as she thought.

So apparently on the two occasions Briar went to the surgery, she collapsed in giggles. The COVID vaccine, she told me, was bad enough but at least that was just in her shoulder. 

"Let's try something," I said. I reached across the table. Not to touch her (I know better than that) but just to put my hand on her side of the table. 

She immediately RECOILED. It was like I'd just dropped a POO on her side of the table. 

"This is what happens," said Hedgehog-Briar. "I just curl up. The nurse asked me if it would help to have two other nurses hold me but I said that would make it worse."

We tried a few experiments. I removed the plastic screen stylus from my phone and poked her with it. She seemed ok. "Maybe you could practise with this," I offered helpfully. But she declined. 

I'll keep you updated on this. Briar does NEED her blood test and I know she'll manage it somehow. But for now I just waved her goodbye and she seemed to have enjoyed her strange lunch while being poked with a stylus. 

And now I seem to have finished my story of today while missing out the part about Caro and I travelling into Wellington together and bumping into Tiger. This also happened and we had great fun talking nonsense with him as always. 

So maybe THAT'S why Caro and I were in town today. To talk nonsense, have larfs and cajole mates by poking them with stuff. It still doesnt answer the mystery of Kiwibank, but it's a start.

S.