A Walk in the Winter Woods

My husband and I decided to have a very nice lunch of Olive Garden leftovers at home, and then walk up the hill to the Barrens for a couple of hours. But by the time we were done eating - OOF! - my husband said, "NObody's walking UP that hill. We need a hill to go DOWN!" "Rolling DOWN That Hill will be our song for the day," I observed, as I ate MORE fettuccine.

But a few minutes later, we were indeed putting on our jackets and our boots, and grabbing our daysacks and chairs, and heading up the hill to the Barrens. Conditions there were both melting and slick. If you have ever walked in snow that is grainy, like sand, you know what I mean. You can step and slide all at the same time.

We walked our way into the Barrens, and set up our chairs and read our books by a frozen vernal pool. T. Tiger sat by the edge and watched for amphibians, for he knows that amphibians DO come from such pools. He says he is willing to wait for the miracle, but I told him it will be a long time yet before the amphibians show up. T. Tiger said, "What does a stuffed Tiger have, but time?"

So we hung out there and enjoyed the day, which was delightful and sunny and warm and mild compared to so many of the ones we've had lately. There were snow-fleas out, you know, those springtail things. They look like black dots or dirt in the snow but when one jumps straight up, you will realize they are all BUGS!

My husband had brought a little packet of Oreo cookies, and one of Pop-Tarts. And so, while we sat and read and enjoyed the snow and ice scene, and the blue shadows in the snow, we snacked on Oreos and Pop-Tarts. When I dropped a tiny piece of my Pop-Tart in the snow, I noted that the springtails were on it right away! If I had any intentions of eating that tiny piece, my intentions dissolved when I saw the itty bitty black bugs all over it.

Later, at home, I found an Internet resource about springtails and read it out loud to my husband, including the fact that the bugs have blood like anti-freeze. They are harmless, and not a danger to people or pets. They feed on biomatter in the soil.

"Biomatter, my ass!" my husband said; "They eat Pop-Tarts! Biomatter tastes like sh*t. Pop-Tarts are great!" 

"And it's so HARD to find Pop-Tarts out here!" I added, helpfully.

So there you go! We left the bugs to their snack, and walked back up and out of the Barrens, heading for home, wrapping up a four-or-five-mile day. But there is a part of the walk out that goes up a steep and narrow bank, like a knife edge, and it was nearly impossible to do it. The snow was melty, grainy, and slick. In fact, I said I thought we should back up and find another way around.

"But I'm already half-way up!" my husband said, as he (six feet tall, and with a much longer stride than me) clutched onto a couple of trees, and shuffled his way very slowly up the hill. I watched from below, knowing in my heart of hearts that I could not make it. But I would not back down. I had to try.

At one point, my feet were pointed up the hill but I was sliding back down it. I had my bare hands in the snow and ice, digging for purchase, wishing I had my gloves on. But no. The gloves were in my pack. My husband reached out his hand to save me, and as he grabbed, I grabbed back: I was left with my feet dangling off a precipice, and he slowly pulled me up.

That part was kinda dramatic, and I wish I had it on video, so that you all could mock me -  for going places in the woods so slick and so dangerous that you truly cannot even walk - but we made it out without further incident, and now it will just be a tale we tell each other on cold winter evenings, while laughing, as we sit in our snug house together, in our blankies and our slipper socks, enjoying hot tea and crumpets.

I need a soundtrack song for this tale of a grand adventure in the winter woods. If I had not insisted that the Tiger come along home with us, he would STILL be sitting by a mostly frozen vernal pond, waiting for the springtime miracle of the return of rampant and boisterous amphibian life. So here's a song for that loyal Tiger; Tiger, those days will come, but not yet!  The song is Marc Cohn, with Walk on Water. The lyrics below are from the song.

So are you willing to wait for the miracle
Willing to wait it through
Are you willing to wait for the miracle
Or don't you believe they're true?