Wannabe Mother's Day

About two weeks ago I cried to my husband because I wasn't looking forward to Mother's Day and the emotions that come along with it. It's always a very painful day for me and the only way I can explain what it's like to deal with infertility on Mother's Day is to compare it to the orphan standing outside in the cold, watching families open their presents by the fire. You feel like an outsider, lost, alone... and like nobody cares or understands.

"There's no such thing as WANNABE Mother's Day!" I cried... "There's no day where people acknowledge what we go through, the pain, poking, prodding, sacrifices, frustration, disappointment and anger that we suffer throughout the year!"

I suppose you could say the hormones got the better of me!

Today was not only Mother's Day, but also our 13th wedding anniversary. When I woke up he handed me a card and a present and when I opened it I realized it wasn't for our anniversary at all. It was for Wannabe Mother's Day.

The card had a dandelion on it and inside there was a poem he had written about making a wish and not giving up hope. In the package was the necklace I am wearing in this photo. The stone is made of amazonite, which is the "Hope Stone", known to be lucky for all your hopes and dreams.

I cried, of course, and it was like he flicked a switch inside me from sad to happy, empty to full.. bitter to appreciative. Like he had opened a window inside my heart and let all the pain and bitterness out. I felt free. Maybe it was being acknowledged for all I've gone through for this over the years, or just to not be left out on Mother's Day this year... I don't know, but it felt really nice.

It's amazing what a simple act of love can do, isn't it?

After the (happy) tears passed, I fed him a giant breakfast and we went out to spend the day together to celebrate our anniversary, knowing that whatever happens, we will always have each other!