Unrappin a Winter's Tale

Sing carols, Harry and Megan Banmorals. 
packet of spangles, scented candles
as you'll log on, as Yule like it, on your bike it, bite it, don't fight it. No cherry B, or merry be, ban daytime TV. Getting absurd, catch the Christmas bird, Ringo's drumsticks, Drumchapel hat pegs, Bert Feggs, Colonel Mustard, where's the custard, hunt the thimble, bash the humble, gorge on trifle.  God rest you merry, Phone the gas Co, grab your paxo, government cuts, they'll roast your nuts, damaged wranglers, baggage handlers, Aunty and Gordon are getting ginned, post-dinner Granny's breaking wind.  Phone the Machair, pull your cracker, read your motto, Granny's Blotto (a ding-dong is verily nigh). Banter with Santa but not under the Mistle Thrush, but a Christmas card Robin, who let that mob in ?  Carol Singers or a barrel of mingers, clingers, what did they bring us?  Empty rapping paper, certainly not a caper, port, madeira Sherry, Granny's very merry, someone should have told her, not that bloody Noddy Holder,  On the first day of Blipmass my true dove gave to me, a cartridge in a printer, one spurtle glove, three tense wrens, fork squawking birds, five old things, six beasts a braying, seven Swansea women, eight maids of Milton Keynes, line dancing ladies, then Lords all peeping, Leven hikers hiking, shelve drammers dramming.  Stock up your hangings, don't goose the cook. Away in a stranger Wincarnis, winking,  lots of old bling tinsel.  Noggin the Eggnog - I saw three chips. Port and lemon's bitter, the cooncil gritter, don't make me titter, cover it with glitter.  On strike, on yer bike, tax hike, three wise men ?  No wise men.  Men - be chivalrous not frivolous, toys are sublime Santa's overtime.   Rudolph's Near Enough.  Hae no doubts eat your sprouts.  Elves are a load of cobblers, like Mrs Claus' wobblers. Ronnie Biggs in a blanket, the parson knows.  Oh camel ye faithful.  It may be a mess, endless stress, time to redress, crossdress, confess, hazard a guess, NHS - Bless.  Don't be sippers, hide Grandad's slippers, but be - Merry Blippers