Out of Control Boobs

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Today was a funny old day. 

Caro went to Paekakariki for a spray tan today. This is just a "test tan". She wanted to trial the tan for her birthday next month. It seemed to go well. 

Paekakariki (often referred to by locals as "Pie Cock") is about 10 minutes from Paraparaumu and Caro was proud of herself for having driven there. I went along for the ride and sat in the car waiting. It only took 20 minutes and I enjoyed the wait as she parked right by the sea and I could listen to the waves.

Afterward, Caro drove me to the supermarket so I could pick up some things for Xmas dinner. I'm making roast lamb (as is traditional at ours) and so picked up the meat and some veggies for roasting. Caro did not come with me. She was braless due to the spray tan and didn't want her boobs "flapping about in the supermarket" as she put it. 

Fair enough. 

I got the stuff and loaded it back into the car. Caro turned the ignition and....

fffffffaaaaaart.....

Nothing. Dead. Nowt. Nada.

She tried it again. Still nothing. The battery was dead.

"****!!!" said Caro, swearing.

So she called the AA who said they would be there in 20 minutes. We listened to music on my phone and Caro messaged Fiona, "Now I'm going to have to deal with an AA repairman with my out of control boobs," she complained. 

Fiona messaged back. "Thanks for that Caro, that's the biggest laugh I've had all week."

Sympathetic, that one. 

The good news was that we had accidentally parked in a disabled spot. In Caro's defence there was ZERO signage and it wasn't like the spot was even near a shop! So I don't know how she was supposed to realise this. 

BUT the key thing is, when the supermarket parking attendants asked her to move she told them she couldn't on account of dead battery. So THEY helped us! They had a portable charger thingy and we were up and out of there in 5 minutes!

IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

We then went on an (enforced) nice drive for 30 minutes while she recharged her battery. It was all very pleasant. 

When we got home, we realised we needed to do our part of the lip sync challenge video. To be honest my mates have been a bit sh*t. They've either NOT READ MY VERY CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS and sung whatever the eff they wanted or not contributed at all. 

Bah humbug.

But FAZZY came through for us! She has pretty much lip sync'ed the whole bloody song so we needed to do our part too. Hence today's picture which illustrates clearly how seriously we take our festive activities.

(You'll be pleased to hear that Caro has her woman's bra back on in this picture. Boobs back under control.)

Naturally, I made as big of an @rse of myself as is humanly possible. There's no point in half-measures. I was a totally effing idiot tonight and proudly so.

"This is a tradition now," said Caro. "We are going to have to do it every year."

I don't mind. It's Christmas time. Mistletoe and wine. 

Why, I think I have an idea for NEXT year's video already...

S.