Porn Cocktail

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I have mentioned Cobb & Co to you before but it was YEARS ago, so I'll recap.

Cobb & Co is a chain of restaurants in Aotearoa which have been going since the 1970's. The closest equivalent I can think of is a Happy Eater. Although it is a little bit classier than that. 

The theme is of an old ranching station, so there is lots of wood panelling and saloon doors. Here's an old advert starring David Jason of all people, to give you a better idea. 

But the food is basically basic. All the same, Kiwi kids would be regularly taken there for family meals when they were kids, which means they are very nostalgic about it. 

"Oh my god we should go there!' said Briar, back in November. It started as a joke but then escalated and escalated until we were ALL going. For Xmas dinner. 

As it turned out, this was a good choice, because:

a) No bugger else would think of it so the place was nearly empty
b) The food is actually fine. Not spectacular, but reasonable prices and perfectly fine. 
c) We got to have our table for FOUR HOURS (from 5 to 9)
d) The menus have puzzles and jokes and things you can colour in on the back.

The Team Gromit crew arrived in stages. First it was me and Manda, then Ellie, Craig and Shenée. Then Briar rocked up followed by Jeff and Fazzy. 

Sadly Corrie, Mo and Jess all dropped out at the last minute. But we loaded up on drinks - including an alcoholic version of Cobb and Co's famous traffic light drink. And then ate and ate and ate until Ellie was so full she had to lie on the floor.

The other noteworthy thing was that our dinner was delivered by a robot! We were all very excited by this and ordered extra food just to see it puttering back and forth. (See extras).

Because I am me, I attempted to make the evening extra-festive by bringing along crackers and little presents for everyone. Nothing special just little reindeer plushies and chocolates from the $2 store. But something to unwrap. BUT Briar also brought me a HOME MADE present. She had knitted me a Club Penguin and that was sort of special. 

Today's blip was the biggest larf of the evening when Shenée got my Santa outfit and goofed around in it, immediately transforming herself into a manic garden gnome. 

Actually I'm lying. The BIGGEST larf of the evening was when we played the drawing game "Telestrations" again. As you know we love playing drawing games with Jefe on account of his drawings are really rather special. 

BUT

THEN 

BRIAR.
 
I love Briar. She is this quiet, reserved little person who - when you get to really know her - is wonderfully RUDE and FUNNY and TWISTED. And these things just pop out of her at the most unexpected times. 

So anyway, she was given "Prawn Cocktail" to draw. 

You can see where this is going. 

Now in this game, person 1 draws the thing, passes it to person 2 who writes down what they think it is and then passes to person 3 who draws THAT.

And so on.

So by the time Briar's "prawn cocktail" got to Jefe, Manda had decided it was "Shrimp Dick Pussy". To be fair to Briar, she HAD drawn a prawn and a dick and a cat with an arrow pointing to its tail.

And obviously Manda is just a little naughty. 

But you should have heard the HOWLS of laughter from Shenée when she saw Jefe's drawing of a pussy. 

It was oddly spherical with - um - some curved lines inside it. 

It kind of looked like a cabbage. Or the planet Earth, from space.

Shenée squinted. "Is that a TENNIS ball???" she said, wrinkling her nose. 

"It's... it's... my interpretation of...." spluttered Jefe, trying to explain and also NOT explain what he had drawn there.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" replied Shenée.

For my part I loved sitting with Fazzy and being with her in the group again. We haven't really been together with all of us and Fazzy in ages and it made my heart happy to be with them all again.

I bumped into Jefe in the bathroom. "I'm really upset about my pussy picture," he confessed.

"Don't worry Jeff," I told him. "I mean who really pays attention when you're down there? Next time we'll take pictures."

He seemed to like that idea. 

I think Fazzy really enjoyed herself. And we laughed together as we always do and there were hugs and pictures and promises to get together again soon.

"You're the glue that holds us together!" said Shenée. I mean. It's true. I am. I love all of the circle of friends individually, but there's something special when we are all together. 

It does my heart good. Which is more than could be said of the pork belly I had. Still, totally worth it. 

S.

p.s. I got this message from Fazzy the next morning: 

I just showed Haniah the pic of me and Santa! Her eyers widened and she ran to her brother "mommy knows Santa!!!"