Starting to give good headbored

After hearing this, I began to wonder how this would be said in Spanish and I was wondering if someone could give me a hand. I want something that sounds colloquial and something that would sound as funny in Spanish as it does in English.
Also, I was trying to think of a good way to express "I bet" in this case and I am sure there has to be a better translation than "yo apostaria"!
Could you make sure to include a common way of saying something like "I bet"?