4 going on 40!!!

Am I selfish when i say i want my little boy stay little forever??
We planned on having a family BBQ just me my dad and Lewey and annabelle...we did invite the kids dad ( my ex! ) and yet again he says he will turn up and promises to Lewey he will come and what does he do?? He makes my baby boy cry !! It broke my heart to see him so upset.....sitting by the door all morning with his sister!! I quietly sneaked out the room and broke down in tears! I hate seeing him so sad! And I didn't want him to see me cry! But somehow he heard me and came out and sat next to me and said

" mummy..i don't think daddy os going to come...don't cry mummy...daddy doesn't love us anymore but don't be sad...I love you lots and I know you love me and bells...and gramps loves us too! And gramps is better then daddy because he lets watch films with him and we have fun!! Daddy doesn't like me anymore so I don't like him...can we just forget about him and have some BBQ tea? I'm hungry!!"

Now I feel terrible because he thinks his dad doesn't love him!! I honestly don't know if he loves his kids or not but what do I say?? I can't turn round to my son and say " no Lewey daddy doesn't love you!! " horrible feelings or confusion at the moment!!

Lewey has been sad all day but has been putting on a brave face because he wants to be the "man of the house" so gramps treated him to a ride on his mobility scooter...he loved it and told me he is going to save up all his piggy money ( pocket money ) and but is one so he can buy the shopping and he slready asked his gramps if he can help him around the garden but only if he gets paid!
SINCE SHEN DID MY LITTLE BOY GROW UP INTO A LITTLE MAN??? Slow down baby boy.....
4 going on 40!!!!


Over and out
Jen x