Things I've learnt this week.....

1.  You can house sit for a week, feed a thousand critters every morning and evening, clean the house from top to bottom, but when they return they'll only notice  the flood damage.
2.  Take a sicky the day after France plays in the World Cup.
3.  Telephones in class mean 2 hours detention or they'll all be sitting there watching the World Cup.
4.  Be a grown up when your daughter rings you from Ireland to say that she'll be staying there for her birthday and Christmas because plane tickets are too expensive.
5.  Go into a state of dissociation when your mother in law (small m, small i, small l) tells you on the phone that she only likes you because you make her son happy and if you fail to continue to do so she will *!*!§ you (not sure what because I successfully managed dissociation before the end of her sentence)
6.  Don't ask your friends if this was unjust of her because they'll tell you that they say the same things to their children's partners, making you feel even more small and stupid.
7.  Start wordle with the word heart.  It works a treat.
8.  Don't go for supper at le Bosq without a handy body bag for your liver the next morning.
9.  Don't offer the Ukranians the three bottles of vodka that someone gave you to give to them because they only use Smirnoff as a disinfectant (maybe I missed a subtle Russian/Ukranian faux pas here, for which I am sorry)
10. Don't offer a bottle of Smirnoff to Rousseaux as he'll use it as the shot punishment when I lose le jeu de petits cochons (c.f. #8)
11.  Only use Smirnoff as a disinfectant.
12.  Don't expect to be able to have a shower back at the Moulin; It's only been 5 years that there was meant to be one; but Rome wasn't built in a etc....
13.  Live in the moment, enjoy tipping saucepans of water over yourself.  You're worth it.
14.  Don't be negative and bitter, it's not becoming.
15.  Be positive and up beat 
(can I go to bed now?)


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