Behold the face of ADHD

I usuall enjoy my visit to my doctor because I get to tell him what is wrong with me and he agrees. I haven't figured out if this is because I am secretly a fantastic diagnostician or whether he is really shit at being a doctor. Nonetheless, he is a nice guy and takes the time he needs to come to an agreement with me about my symptoms.

Today I went to see him about my brain fog. I thought I'd put him to the test a bit and see if he could come up with a couple of solutions by himself. So I described my symptoms (trouble concentrating, losing train of thought) and within four or five minutes he came up with the answer. Or "an" answer.

"You've just described a textbook case of ADHD," he said. "That's what it is. I can give you a pill for that."

I must have looked a little quizzical, because he started to backtrack. 

"I think it is a very mild case, so perhaps the pill won't be necessary," he said. "Unless you want to try one?"

I demurred and asked whether there were any therapeutics I might try. 

"Do you need counselling?" he asked?
"No."
"Are you sexually active?"
"What"
"Is everything working in the trouser department?"

For a minute, I thought I must have misheard the ADHD diagnosis. Had he perhaps said "VD"? However, I think he took my reflective silence for an admission of erectile dysfunction.

"I can recommend a pill for that," he said. "It's very efficient."

I eventually managed to put things straight and negotiated him down from a pill to "getting some more exercise", which is what he has recommended every visit since I first met him. It's good to know where you stand as the provincial Conservatives slam away at Ontario's healthcare system.